Sex Shrink: The edge of love

My lover and I like a bit of edge: spanking, hot wax etc. Please give us something else to throw into the mix?

Image by Grace Vane Percy

The Sex Shrink says...

BDSM devotees see kinkiness in everything. From a bowl of ice cream to a skipping rope, most items can be used with darker purpose. That most quotidian item, the clothes peg, is especially beloved by the bondage fraternity - and has the advantage of appearing spontaneous.

The peg is, moreover, a prop she's unlikely to have used, and one whose subtleties might surprise you. Go for wooden ones, and test one by pinching it on your own skin - you may wish to stretch the spring in those with too hard a bite.

Now, imagine she's come home and you've removed her coat and dress. She is standing in the kitchen in the sweetly innocent underwear you bought - try Stella McCartney's Clara set (£ - and you're feeling dominant.

Ask her how her day was, keeping her talking as you lean her against the door, take off her bra, cup her breasts, and tease her until her nipples are stiff, her skin covered in goose flesh.

Bind her with a wide pair of leather cuffs (by Ilya Fleet, £115. that are connected by a brass clasp. Hook the clasp over the top of the door, then slam it shut.

As ever, safety precautions apply: I'm assuming you've set up safe words; check to make sure the cuffs aren't impeding the blood flow to her hands; be aware of time: ten minutes is the maximum initial length of time you want to leave a clamp/peg in place.

Once she's secure, kiss her mouth, stroke her skin, then place one peg on her nipple. Let the bite of pain pass through her, perhaps push aside her knickers and run your tongue across her pussy, then place a second peg on her other nipple. Again, pause to let the sensation take effect.

It will be a sweet/sharp feeling. Like any clamp, the pain from a peg is constant. This means sensation across her body will be heightened; it also means you'll want to be sure her pleasure levels are raised sufficiently to temper the pain.   

Keep a vibrator handy and press it over her knickers. Then go back to the pegs and flick them softly. Or breathe over her nipple, or run ice across it.

If you think she can take more, add further pegs, working across the top of her breasts. Keep it symmetrical, with the same number of pegs on either side of her body. (A stunning, bisexual girlfriend loves to be covered in lines of them curling from her breasts down to her belly while blindfolded, and then be shown herself helpless and pinned in a mirror...)

Remember that the strongest sensation will be the moment you take them off: hence, as she is building to her highest climax, that is the time to remove them to spike her into stronger orgasm - not afterwards, when it will be uncomfortable. If she can take more still, you've found a serious sub - and I'll be delighted to suggest exquisite expert options.

Original article published in GQ Magazine, in November, 2011

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