If you were a renowned scientist planning a big, in-depth research project, what field would you choose: mutations of the common flu virus? Or perhaps the way bacteria multiply on kitchen surfaces? Or then again, how about an in-depth analysis of the sex lives of 1,800 twins?
I'm afraid the men in white coats at King's College London have beaten you to it. With a sentiment we wholeheartedly applaud, they decided to interview 1,800 twins about their sex lives, in order to determine the existence of the G-Spot (only a churlish person might recommend it would have been quicker for them simply to log onto niche site twinsporn.net, where they would be furnished with ample apparent video evidence).
The theory went that if the G-Spot exists, where one twin had one, the other would too, given their genetic similarity.
The results had no such correlation. Researcher Tim Spector commented: "This is by far the biggest survey ever carried out [in this field], and it shows fairly conclusively that the idea of the G-Spot is subjective."
But hang on. Not everyone is convinced we should be so unconvinced. "The Kings College study is a new low in science, meaning nothing," retorted sex writer Deborah Sundahl. "Given most people can't find the G-Spot, it doesn't surprise me that half of the twins can't either."
Dr Beverley Whipple, the sexologist who helped popularise the magical G in the Eighties, also pointed out that researchers had failed to consider the effects of variously skilled lovers. "The biggest problem with their findings is that twins don't generally have the same sexual partner," she said. Argument over the G-Spot is nothing new. So for heaven's sake let's stop arguing the toss and start talking details.
As you'll know, it's named after Ernst Gräfenberg, the German scientist who claimed to have discovered it in 1950. It is located on the front wall of the vagina, ie: the side towards her navel, some 2-5cm up. To be technical for a moment, the region is suffused with glands, ducts, and erectile tissue similar to that in your penis. Many women find that within this area, there is a raised, ridged, grape-sized spot which becomes more clearly defined the more aroused they are, and is especially responsive.
Whether or not there is an obvious raised area or bump, this is unquestionably an erogenous zone which, in the hands of a skilled and magnanimous lover, can be a lightning rod to blind sexual ecstasy, deep multiple orgasm, and hot, spurting female ejaculation.
How best to take her to the highest G-Sexual high? Before you begin, one prosaic touch is to have her visit the toilet and pee. You want to have her as uninhibited as possible, and even seasoned ejaculators like to play on an empty bladder. There is a water-sports alternative, which aficionados rate as one of the ultimate sexual experiences, but that is perhaps better saved for a different column. It's advisable not to go in cold. Likelihood is she will either feel very little, or positively dislike it. A masterly approach would be to bring her to orgasm using your mouth on her clitoris. She will be abandoned, horny and crucially, wet. The G-Spot habitually responds best to firm pressure, and lubrication is important. It also means that you may prefer to move on from your fingers to a sex toy. Any firm dildo shaped in an S-Curve or with a bulbous end will work, for example the Crystal Wand (pictured) or Jade Engraved Dildo at Coco De Mer (£45 and £169). Good vibrators to look at include the Gigi by Lelo, or the G-Ki by JeJoue (£64.99 and £69.99. At Love Honey).
Begin with your fingertips, stroking the area, in a gentle come-hither motion. The odd, gentle cat-lick back on her clitoris won't do any harm. Then try moving your fingers up and down, side-to-side, or you could even trace lazy circles. Stick with each motion for long enough to see how her response builds, how different pressure works, etc.
Now switch to the Gigi. Work it gently to begin with, on the slowest setting, and angling it towards the side, then bring your focus to the centre of the area, and increase the intensity. A G-Spot orgasm is a deep, primal thing so be prepared. If the G-Spot is her bag, she will be sobbing and begging and writhing beneath you. You may choose to tie her down, and if she has a hint of the pain slut, you might tweak or clamp her nipples (remembering not to leave them on for more than ten minutes, and that the most intense sensation is as they come off, so remove them before the end of the session.
Cowgirl is an excellent position for G-stimulation, but if by now she is beyond it then either take her on her back, with pillows heaped under her hips, or in doggy. Hell, why not blindfold her too. Ass play adds still another mind-bending dimension; you might slide well-lubed anal beads into her before you enter her - or, have her keep the Gigi in place while you lovingly bugger her doggy style.
As she howls and shivers beneath you, she'll be in little doubt that the G-Spot exists. Now, all you have to do is to go and find her twin…
Original article published in GQ Magazine, in May, 2013